Morning Blues

My dear lovelies,

Did you sleep well through the night? What were you thinking when you wake up this morning?

On my side, I wake up between 6.30 am – 7.00 am these days without failed because despite having my phone alarm ringing, there’s that little munchkin who wakes up earlier (as early as 5.30am everyday) even before fajr prayer. Which is actually a good thing (Referring to one of the habit of highly effective people i.e. waking up INSANELY early). Having said that, I still dreaded waking up early morning and usually tell my little munchkin “oo nak suruh mama bangun solat tahajud yee” and then…zzzz…back to sleep. What a waste…Yup. That’s what I usually tell myself the next morning.

I wake up in the middle of the night at least once to nurse my baby, and while I’m nursing him, I told myself “hold on buddy, don’t sleep yet..you’re going to get off the bed and talk to Allah..Allah is the closest as this wee hour c’mon you’re not gonna miss it!” The next thing I know it’s already 6.00 am. What a waste…It’s actually a blessing in disguise but I am very weak I let this golden opportunity goes off just like that.

There’s no excuse to this. If I want something so bad, I surely will find a way isn’t it? The sweetness of meeting our Khaliq, having a deep conversation with Him. Nobody understand better than Him. This is why Allah sometimes test us isn’t it? We love the dunya so much and easily get carried away with the temptations, fake promises and forget about our final destination.

Whatever it is…

If you’re having a similar situation, tell yourself never lose hope in Allah. Syaitan will always bring us down by saying we don’t deserve this and that. He’ll start whispering to our ears that we are so dirty with sins that Allah does not even want to look at us. So you know, let’s get up and tell him straight, “Bring it on!” We’re not gonna lose it to him and his bala tentera.

We are Muslim, and we are strong. Always remember that we have Allah, and He alone is ever sufficient.

A Little Effort

Waking up early before dawn has made the difference. Irfan woke up super early too asking for “susu hot”. Papa tried to put him back to bed but obviously he will not sleep coz mama wasn’t sleeping. I took him out to the hall, showed some flash cards and let him help me clean up the mess.
The moment papa went off to work, Irfan cried cos I didn’t wanna let him watch Iron Man. I promised myself not to let him win this time. So I took him to the window and told him to look outside where he can see the real world. The buildings and vehicles. The people who went out to work, the birds and the trees. Finally I told him, “let’s take a bath and we’re going out to the park, okay”. And he followed me.
The day went well subhanAllah, just because I woke up before fajr, switched off the TV, played and giggled. We walked to The Children Grand Park and played at Children’s Museum for two hours. He asked for “susu hot” and when finished as usual he will always said “dah abish”. After telling me he wanted to sleep, he immediately tucked himself in the stroller and closed his eyes. I took subway back home and to my surprise, I couldn’t find any elevator at the exit. Lucky me there’s someone who cared to help me carry the stroller downstairs and up again.
Later that night, Irfan ate his dinner and drank apple juice which is so unlikely of him. He just needed a little time and attention from me to respond and listen well. Alhamdulillah I realize as a mother, I constantly need to sit back, reflect and restrategize my plans. Of course, by doing this I am withholding a lot of things I wanted to do. But none of that matters because the result is incredible. Nothing beats seeing our kids jolly and calmer like that.
Being a role model to our children and maintaining our sanity can be very difficult. Sometimes, I can just snapped out of the blue *sigh* I am sucha bad mother. I so have a long long way to go don’t I? But I’ve learned that by taking baby steps and focus on our purpose, at least we are moving towards becoming better at parenting. (obviously trying to make myself feel better, haha)
“Ok mama, I am not interested and I’m going to find something else”
The Wood Cabin with a slide
Up up up and away on the cabin my little explorer
“Omnomnom..is this the same banana papa usually eats?”
“Hey little monster fella, you’re not gonna hurt my brother don’t ya?”
The doll: “Oookay now, not my dress”
Less than 10 secs arranging fish scales and off he went away, this is so boring
“Mmm so many toys which one should come into my mouth first?”

Reflection: Ramadhan 1434H

Ramadhan has brought me into a deep state of self-reflection. A journey towards inner peace that I will never forget. We feel that we don’t deserve to be wronged. It is hard to swallow the fact that we as human being always make mistakes and sometimes even failed at challenges life throws.

But we learn to pick ourselves up and rise again no matter how many times we fall and break. Allah is the Most Merciful and Forgiving. So forgive and seek forgiveness because there are always flaws and shortcomings even in good deeds. Redha for what has been written in the Luh Mahfuz.

The simplest effort that we tend to forget is through our daily supplication. Never underestimate the power of making DU’A because it has a great impact in our lives.

Farewell Ramadhan, you will be missed.